new year…new me????
Resolutions are so 2020 this year we’re making promises. Pinky promises; the highest form of trust.
This year I’m promising myself a few things.
I will not apologize for things I didn’t do wrong. I’m not saying sorry for my feelings. If I care about someone or something, I’m letting them know. There’s no apology for feelings this year, there’s just feeling. I will honor my feelings and if you don’t like it, check back in 2022, I might change my mind.
I will not play the victim. This is my life. I manifest my own future. If I want something, I’m going all in to get it. My past, people in my way, anything.. they don’t matter; this is my world and I’m going for it.
My body is mine. I could be a million pounds or zero pounds but I’m going to love the hell out of it. I’m not promising recovery or anorexia, I’m promising self love and acceptance. I’m promising to honor where I am and I’m promising to respect the struggle no matter what it looks like.
I’m promising empathy.. to myself and others. There are days where I will eat what feels like 5,000 calories and there are days where I will judge the hell out of people. Both are okay. But they don’t define me or someone else. They are days, they are 1/365 of the life we live this year, they are valuable. One day doesn’t make me who I am and it doesn’t make you who you are. Live your life, make mistakes, be sad, be happy, just live. Live this year knowing it will be hard but worth it.
Finally, I will not keep myself from being happy.
I will not allow myself to assume that I am worthless. I will not allow myself to think of positive memories as the only positive points of my life. There will be hundreds of good times and I will hold onto them so tightly with the knowledge that they will not be the first or last good times.
Side anorexia goal: I will make it through this whole year without meeting my insurance deductible. JusT TrEtmEnT tHiNGs.
Go for it this year. Live. Forget about your weight, forget anxiety. They’ll always be there but you’re worthy of more than a fearful life. LIVEEEEEE.
